Hits and Shits

Hits:

Here’s what got me going this week.

BE.YON.CÉ.

I am still REELING from the slayage that King B has forced upon us the past week. First, it was Formation. Did you drown in all of that imagery? Did you gag on her vintage New Orleans looks? I was still trying to heal my scalp from the edges she snatched from me, but then the Super Bowl happened. My God.

In all fairness Coldplay was amazing and Bruno Mars is forever a lil bush I’d love to climb (fun fact, at 5’6″ I am taller the he is), but High Priestess Creole Goddess Beyoncé STORMED onto that turf in HEELS and brought you blessings in the key of bad bitch. Between the Black Panther inspired dancers and the choreo and the sing off with Bruno, I had no complaints about this show at all. And then, after she had exhausted my spirit completely, she has the audacity to announce a tour. Amazing.

The BEST part of this all is the vapid amount of white people crying “anti-white, anti-police” at Beyoncé. The images in the “Formation” video say more ,”Please, stop killing us,” instead of “Wow, ALL police are terrible and white people are the WORST.” There is apparently nothing more threatening to the white majority than a black woman publicly loving herself and her race. A whole protest boycotting the King and her music was planned to occur in front of the NFL Head Quarters in Manhattan, and only two human lives showed up. Whew, you tried it.

Wife Returns From The Dead and Screws Husband    

I can’t remember the last time I cackled so hard at a “you tried” situation until I read this story. Noela Rukundo had a bounty placed on her head by her own husband of 1o years, Balenga Kalala, but he apparently paid the wrong guys. The “failed” hit men kidnapped Rukundo but refused to kill her, as it went against their beliefs. They set her free with enough evidence to implicate this asshole (who has fathered three of her eight children) and then instructed her to warn other women of men like this. Rukundo showed up at her own funeral, waited until everyone left, and then said, “Surprise!” Kalala is now in jail for the next nine years, and Rukundo is clearly moving on – “My situation, my past life? That is gone. I’m starting a new life now.”

Donald Trump Loses Iowa, Sanders Is the Real Winner

Rotting-banana-peel Donald Trump lost in the Iowa caucus and handled it gracefully…by blaming it all on Ted Cruz, of course. According to The Donald, Ted Cruz rigged the polls and is a fraud. Best part of it all? He asked for a redo. Amazing.

Based on the fraud committed by Senator Ted Cruz during the Iowa Caucus, either a new election should take place or Cruz results nullified.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 3, 2016

His claims make me laugh and the fact that he lost just puts a song in my heart. My only hope is that after the election ends he moves to an island far away from here so I don’t ever have to hear his name again. Every time a non-American even brings him up, I’m heartily embarrassed.

In better news, despite what to me STILL seems super shady, Bernie Sanders almost took Hillary down in the caucus. The fact that Clinton only squeaked by with a decimal point over Sanders is a victory for Team Bernie as far as I’m concerned. The forecast predicated that Bernie was going to be blown out of the water in Iowa and he wasn’t. I’m very hopeful for the New Hampshire caucus and look forward to voting in the New York State Primary. Hopefully, both will end with less controversy.

Here are some resources if you’re still not sure who to vote for and when your state’s primary/caucus is.

Black History Month Visibility!

Every month I remain on this earth as a proud black woman is black history month. But this year the visibility is just off the charts and I love it. Bring me the huge list of inventions we wouldn’t have without black Americans. Show me the black Jews that trail blazed in their communities. Let’s talk about these important firsts in the mainstream and not just for one month.

I can’t even tell you how much I am loving seeing so much black excellence all over my newsfeed every day. No matter how strongly I love my people and culture, to see the world love with me just feels good. Our history is so important to the building of American culture. Let’s keep that education and appreciation going throughout the rest of the year.

Shits

Ugh, can we not? I’d like to leave these things firmly in the past.

Racial Tensions at College Campuses

No one should live in fear while at college. Let me say it again for the people in the back. No one should live in fear while at college. All over the U.S. there have been miserable attacks on marginalized people, but this most recent one hit way too close to home. At my alma-mater, University at Albany, three black students were attacked while on a late night bus to campus and racial slurs were hurled at them while bystanders looked on.

The rest of the details have still yet to be revealed, but regardless of who is shown to be the aggressors, the response to this event has made me sick. So many people in the black community at UAlbany have done their best to create positive, uplifting and loving spaces for students who are in fear, while their white peers have taken offense to it. Why is it that when we want to heal, white people feel threatened and must tear down our defenses? Why is it that when black women are backed into a wall, we can’t turn to black men for support? All of this has just put a heavy weight on my heart. There is no place for racial violence at my school and realizing that there are so many racist voices walking the same halls I once did makes me nauseous.

Kanye West. Ugh. 

Why doesn’t someone love Kanye enough to take his phone away from him? Or to listen to his songs before he releases them, and tells him he should change some words around? I try and try to see it for him but I’ve reached my limit. In “Famous” off of his new album, Ye raps “I feel like me and Taylor still might have sex. Why? ’Cause I made that bitch famous.” Sigh. Was that even necessary?

Then he gets on Twitter (because that’s how you make things better) and rambles off several claims that Taylor suggested the lyric for the song, and that “bitch” is an endearing term in hip-hop. Ugh.

THEN he showed up to SNL and pitched a fit because his stage was redone before his performance, and brought up Taylor’s name again…for no reason. A recording of his outburst is circling the internet and honestly, he sounds manic and unwell. Let’s get real here, this “Yeezus” mentality is damaging to his ego, and his suggestion that he’s above the rest of this world needs to stop. It’s ridiculous and I don’t see it ending well. He needs real help, but hell if he’ll get it soon.

Can we go back to College Dropout Kanye? I’ll even settle for G.O.O.D. Friday Kanye if it’ll happen. But these rants on the internet and obnoxious, sexist lyrics just gotta stop. I’m over it.

According to Meryl Streep, We’re All African

Pulled up #Suffragette and who do I see? Suddenly it all makes sense… #MerylStreep https://t.co/RshwjiduSC pic.twitter.com/hiAJzVEqYS

— CalisaTweets (@CalisaTweets) February 11, 2016

I just don’t understand. I really want to, but I don’t. At a conference recently, Meryl Streep responded this way to a question about inclusivity of minorities in cinema:

“I do think inclusion is the name of the game,” Streep said. “The thing I’ve noticed from my (different) roles is there is a core of humanity that travels right through every culture. And, after all, we’re all from Africa, originally. We’re all Berliners. We’re all Africans, really.”

While I don’t think she meant to be miserably exclusive to actual African descendants, there is just a small part of me that believes she meant exactly what she said. For starters, Meryl’s portrayed white people (a couple of animals here and there too) in every role she’s taken. So what “core of humanity” do you mean, exactly? I don’t believe in that “we’re all one people,” rhetoric. Even if you believe we’ve descended from one place, we aren’t treated that way in the slightest. So save those ideas for the internet, in the form of a google search, please.

TW: Rape

The Pick Up Artist and His Fecal-Filled Followers

Doesn’t this face just scream confident man who doesn’t project his own short comings into hating women who don’t like them?

I really can’t with straight men sometimes. The self proclaimed “Pick Up Artist” (which is a disgusting title) Daryush Valizadeh, who looks like he’s never once picked up common sense, has called upon millions of other fellow fedora-wearers to meet worldwide in what he has dubbed, “tribal meetings.” At these meetings, I can only assume men who have consistently found themselves pushed into the “friend zone” can go and talk about how horrible women are for not supplicating themselves at their feet. But this is all in secret, of course.

This walking-garbage-fire got a little nervous when people found out his home address and appeared ready to fight the men who showed up at any of the locations. So, he cancelled all of the meetings. But this “King of Masculinity” was apparently so scared for his own safety (ironic, isn’t it?) that he called police to his mother’s house where he lives…in the basement.

I just can’t even believe that this kind of rhetoric really exists in 2016. Why do men consistently believe women owe them something? Maybe once they understand this,  they’ll have better interactions with us? This whole thing has made me to want to sleep until the end of the week, in the hopes that next week is better. Please, I beg of you, let it get better!